... So, here I am... I am getting in a more a 'healthy' routine, making better food choices and really starting to notice a change in myself and my body! Is this becoming an obsession? Have I created a monster? The answer I found for myself, was no. Other people might see it different but I had to tell myself -- WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK? *Side note* this goes for many other things in my life, I always worried what people thought of me, what I was doing, how I mothered my children. You name it, I worried what people thought. But really, why should I care? I am doing this to better me, be around longer with my husband and kids. I am going to be able to enjoy things better with my two crazy, active boys. I can play with them outside, run with them... They are keeping up with me now!
Not only was my appearance changing but my mind and attitude were changing as well. Don't get me wrong, my changing body was great BUT I think my outlook on life and what I wanted for myself and family was my real prize. I was able to throw that crappy medication away and live on my own terms. It just wasn't for me. That being said, I do believe there are definitely reasons people need medication but I was feeling better than I EVER had without it. It's amazing what a good diet and exercise plan will do. So, I did what I felt was best for me and my body. Now, there are definitely times where I doubt myself, feel crappy or whatever but it's not the same as before.
This has really been more than just a 'workout' journey for me. I found myself. I look at my husband and children different. I treat others different and by that I mean, I'm not so quick to judge. Everyone takes different paths or has different struggles. I got so good at hiding how I was feeling and that just spilled over into my judgement of others. Sad but true. NOW... I truly want to help others. I walk in my own shoes now with confidence(for the most part)and no one will ever walk in my shoes. So, what does that mean? I want to help others gain that confidence and walk in their own set!
Moral of 'my' story.... It's not an obsession, it's a way of life for me. I am bettering myself for me and my family. I am not going to let anyone make me feel bad about it. Do what makes you HAPPY!!
-Ashlee
...... So, how did this all come about? Simple... I was miserable! I had never been so uncomfortable in my own skin. I never wanted to go anywhere, do anything that required 'real clothes' or worst of all(ha!)I hated to go shopping -- which I LOVE to do! How did this happen? I couldn't blame it on having a baby, I weighed more now than I did a couple months after giving birth to Easton. I had settled into a terrible routine. Now, Jake is noticing a change in my behavior and mood -- who also has been a TREMENDOUS support system for me through all of this. After what seemed liked months and going back and forth with seeing a doctor about what was going on with me... I caved in.
This was extremely hard for me. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just being a baby. I'll spare some of the details... After a couple of visits to the doctor, I was put on anti-anxiety medication(which I no longer take!!)and started on them right away. At first, I thought I was doing 'better' and feeling more myself. Another thing that I thought was great -- no appetite. Hey, if I don't eat food then I will lose weight -- right?? Um, wrong! I started occasionally working out and doing a few things at home. I lost a 5 or so pounds. This was awesome but not enough.
Here's where my running began.... I started to have a little more energy, I decided to go for a 'run' on the track. It sucked, it was terrible and I barely made it a couple of laps without my body feeling like it was going to explode. Holy crap, I am out of shape!! I kept at it though, running on the track and occasionally the trail ... Some days I would have a really good run, being able to go a little bit farther and then a few days later I could barely run 50 feet.
Why? This is when things started to click for me. I still wasn't eating well(maybe a little better)and drinking a ton of pop! ... BUT I started to like running. I had dropped a little bit more weight and I wanted more! I started reading, talking to other people and really researching things. I educated myself on running, exercising, eating properly. So, you mean if I eat better, my body will perform better???? What a crazy thought!!!
Ok, I can do this. I will do this! This will be life changing! Here we go....
-Ashlee
Well, here we go! My very first blog entry...
I have never been into writing, blogging... That whole bit! Something just hit me one day... BAM! I want to try this! So, I asked around to see what other bloggers use, how they got started and went from there. I am not the best 'writer' so bear with me on this(maybe this will help me a little, huh?)as I get going...
Running, fitness, eating healthy has become such a HUGE part of my life that I really wanted to 'document' my journey, my struggles, my fears, my accomplishments and MOST OF ALL ... Inspire, motivate or challenge someone, anyone! Even if it was just one person that I could inspire to take a journey like I have, I'd consider that a huge victory! So... This is my attempt at that!
-Ashlee
