I've had a TON of things running through my brain lately. Where I'm going, where I'm going to end up, am I taking the right path, am I going to enjoy what I'm doing and most important am I going to HELP someone? Even if it was just one darn person... I could live with that. All that being said ...
Today, for the first time in YEARS I attended church. Yes, I was VERY apprehensive about it. Last time I went to church I just didn't feel comfortable, I didn't understand what was being said and it just didn't make any sense. So, I decided to attend a very laid back church that several friends had mentioned to me. It seemed like a great place to start back up with! Another great thing about this, Maddox's father, step-mother and their children also attend. So, we can go as a family. Which is so very important for Maddox and his brothers. Yes, I know people think it's 'weird' for us to do things together but everyone does 'weird' stuff so why not do it together? Plus, it sets a positive example for not only Maddox but his brothers.
I fell in love with this place. It only took ONE hour. I didn't feel out of place, uncomfortable and most importantly I got the message. It made sense to me ... It moved me.
I look at myself right now, in this very moment and am proud of myself. I am proud that I've 'changed' my ways, my judge mental thinking, my outlook on life, and my hope for my family and children. I can look at myself and know that I am becoming a more positive person. Now, I still have a very long way to go but I think we will forever be 'constructing' ourselves so to speak.
Now, the question is what can I do to help people? Move people? Change people? INSPIRE people? Well ... I am going to keep down this path and keep moving forward. That's all I can do for now. I can continue to do everything possible to make a positive impact on the people in my life now and the brand new people I meet. Slight side note, I never use to be a person to talk to random people in public. My grandpa use to embarrass me to death because he would literally talk to EVERYONE and I mean everyone! Ask any girl I played softball or basketball with, he was everybody's grandpa! Now, I found myself talking to people pretty much anywhere I go and I initiate a lot of conversation. This is coming from the girl who was scared to death to speak in front of people. I won't be giving speeches in front of hundreds of people any time soon but hey, maybe some day right? Baby steps ... Anyway, my goal is to 'pay it forward' ... All those people who inspired me, helped me and pushed me to help me get to where I am now, I need to keep it moving and make an impact on someone else's life.
Well, now that I've typed this entire thing from my phone and my hand is cramping ... This is my question to you -- What inspires you? What motivates you in life? Not just fitness but LIFE ....
Think about it ...
- Ashlee
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