.... And another one opens!!
You always hear the phrases 'everything happens for a reason' or 'blessing in disguise'... But you never really, really think about it until it happens to you. Well, it happened to me. November 8th, 2012. I was let go from my job of 8 years. I had been there since I was 20 years old. I basically grew up there. I was good at my job, really good but we parted ways. I was mad, pissed, sad, upset. I called Jake from my office and was hysterical. His response... 'Oh well'. Oh well? I just lost my job? Never in my life did I expect this. He just seemed so calm about it. He then told me, I was going to find something that I REALLY wanted to do. Well, this happened to me for a reason...
I guess you could say this was another 'big' decision on my part. With the help of a friend and talking it over with Jake, I decided to get my personal training certification. It just seemed SO right. I could take my passion for fitness and health and HELP others. Losing my job opened up an opportunity for me to learn something new and experience something I had an absolute passion for. I learned a lot of valuable things, that I was able to take with me. Now I could do something that made so much sense to me.
I've been doing a lot of research, talking to other trainers and absorbing everything that I can. If I am going to do this, I am going to put in 110%. What have I got to lose, right? Jake and the rest of my family and close friends are offering such much support, words of encouragement and kind thoughts. I really don't think I could do it without them. As annoyed as Jake gets with me over my 'healthy' ways nowadays he really does help me a lot. Which means the absolute world to me. I also have a wonderful sister and friends that have been there for me when I need it the most. They are all helping me turn my negative, unfortunate event into an extremely positive one. I will come out on top.
.... This is the door that I am opening, my 'blessing in diguise', that fire burning inside me... I will take my passion and help other people. I chose to look at this as an opportunity rather than a massive set back. Sure it seemed bad at the time but really it opened my eyes. So, that's where I stand... Eager and ready to move forward. Here's to closed doors ....
-Ashlee
.... I've really gotten into running! Probably my absolute favorite form of exercise. I put my headphones on, Pandora and just GO! I do almost all of my running outside... On the road and trail! For me this was the most therapeutic, wonderful 'release' from any stress, worry or bad things going on around me. I didn't have to talk to anyone. I could just go. My two feet carrying me down the road. It didn't matter how hot it got(or cold once I got into the colder months)I could have that hour or so to myself.
I'm talking with a fellow co-worker(who also runs)about a half marathon that she had just signed up for. She had done one other marathon and then had some medical issues which had prevented her from running. So, she was healthy again and ready to run! This really intrigued me... a half marathon? 13.1 miles? Hmm, I really am crazy! The longest distance I had gone was 5 miles and I really struggled with that. The coolest part about this particular run -- it was in Las Vegas!!! The 13.1 miles were on the actual strip of Vegas! I mentioned it to Jake and he thought I was a little nuts for wanting to run that far, let alone go all the way to Vegas to do it. Probably so, a little strange. I couldn't get it off my mind though as a couple of days went by. I thought to myself, I never thought I could run 5 miles. Heck, I could barely make it through 1 mile to begin with. I've come this far why can't I keep going? Another thought that I had about this run was... It's in Vegas! Jake and I had NEVER been on a real trip together. I mean, never. Other than a weekend trip to the lake or down to Oklahoma, we had never been anywhere. My goodness, we have been together for 10 years... It's about time to go somewhere OUTSIDE of Missouri, Kansas and Oklahoma! I talked with Jake a little bit more about it and he seemed to be on board with it! So -- I did it! I signed up and paid the entry fee! NO TURNING BACK NOW! I had to train for it. I had to really nail down my diet. I had to prepare myself for this. I wasn't going to waste that money I paid for the entry fee!!! That feeling that I got when I hit that 'submit' button to confirm my registry was unforgettable.
I talked with a few people that I knew had trained for this type of thing, researched diet plans and running schedules. I decided on a 16 week schedule for myself. August 4, 2012 was my start date. It was go time. My training schedule was a combination of 2-3 runs a week, strength training and other forms for cross-training(hot yoga, spin classes and kick boxing classes). I was so focused! Another cool thing about this trip, my sister and brother-in-law decided to go with us! We decided to make a little mini vacation out of it!!
I'll fast forward a head some... The count down is on. My training had gone so incredibly well. I was right on track with my schedule and diet. Plus, I was down a total of FORTY FIVE pounds!!! I had lost 45 pounds in less than a year! I was probably in the best shape that I had EVER been in!! I was getting all sorts of words of encouragement. People on Facebook, random texts, phone calls... People asking me for advice(me -- fitness/diet advice -- really?)and asking for my 'secrets'. I'm not going to lie, it was a nice feeling. This is where my want to really help people began to grow. I could help some other mom, woman, whoever really down that road. There were definitely times where I need someone to push me, scream at me, keep me going. I wanted to be that voice for someone else!!
A little further ahead... We arrived in Vegas! We made it there in one piece and all my running gear in tow! We had that whole Saturday to sight see and what not. The run was the next day at 4:30pm! So, what happens while we are wondering around Vegas? MIGRAINE! -- I randomly get really, really bad migraines. I took what had with me, which was some extra strength Tylenol. Normally I take Excedrin migraine. I knew this wasn't going to make it go away. I kept going though. I had really been looking forward to this health and fitness expo that we got to go to for frree. Plus, that's where I had to pick up my race bib and shoe chip. So, we are there trying to look at everything and I feel like I'm going to die! I tell Jake that we need to get back to the hotel NOW! We got a cab back and this was literally the craziest driver I had ever experienced -- super for the headache! We walk into the lobby of the hotel ... I throw up in my mouth(sorry for the disgusting details)and had to get to the bathroom! Yuck! Finally made it up to the room, threw up a few more times and tried to sleep it off! Now... I'm panicking... I HAVE TO RUN 13 FREAKING MILES TOMORROW!!!
... Well, I woke up the next morning. I felt great. We went down for breakfast. While down there, I met a mom and daughter who were also there for the race. We had decided to take a cab down to the start line together. I hadn't even thought about this, so meeting them was fabulous! They were shutting down the entire strip at 1pm that day in preparation for this event. So, I was going to have to go down there alone -- not my favorite. We made plans to meet in the lobby at 2:30 to head down there!! ....
Ok, my nerves are starting to get the best of me. 30 minutes to start time we start to enter our corrals. I'm in corral 3 of 100. I had NEVER in my whole life seen anything like this. So many people, the lights... Holy cow! What have I got myself into? Well, there's no turning back now. We have 5 minutes and we are starting! People are starting to get excited, my stomach is turning... Let's go already!!!!!! As soon as that gun went off... it was on. I had to go. I had a goal time in mind but all I really wanted was to finish without walking....
.... Which is exactly what I did!!! I did it! I ran that whole freaking way! I couldn't believe how awesome I felt! As I crossed that finish line, I really had to hold back from crying. I had done it. All that training, sweat, tears, sacrifice of my time had paid off! I can't even fully explain that feeling that I was experiencing at that moment. My whole body was almost shaking from excitement... And I wasn't even tired!! Now, I had to find my family!!! There were soooo many people and my phone was dying(thank you maids in the hotel for unpplugging it while I left it in the room so it could charge during the day)and I was wandering around through the sea of people!! Finally found them. Ok people, let's go EAT!!!!
The next morning, I couldn't help but smile. I had really done it. I finished and I didn't walk. In my eyes, I had dominated that half marathon! No, I wasn't the fastest. No, I didn't place. But yes, I had finished. 1 hour, 59 minutes. I had just ran the entire Las Vegas Strip! My Facebook and phone literally had been blowing up. I can't even believe all the kind things people said to me -- thank you to all those people! Also, thank you to my husband, sister and brother-in-law for coming all this way to support me! How awesome!
Well, that's my 'big decision and accomplishment'! I did something that I never in my right mind thought was even possible! Which just goes to say, anything is really possible. It doesn't have to be a half marathon, it can be anything. 3 miles, 6 miles, lose 10 pounds, make it through a fitness class... Whatever your 'goal' is ... don't short yourself because it seems so big and out of reach. You CAN do it! Yes, you will have to work hard. Yes, you will have to be uncomfortable at times. Yes, you will have to push yourself. In doing all of that, I pushed myself harder than I ever had and I made it.
So -- what's your goal? Dreams? What do you want to accomplish? .... Whatever it is... GO DO IT!!!!
-Ashlee
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... So, here I am... I am getting in a more a 'healthy' routine, making better food choices and really starting to notice a change in myself and my body! Is this becoming an obsession? Have I created a monster? The answer I found for myself, was no. Other people might see it different but I had to tell myself -- WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK? *Side note* this goes for many other things in my life, I always worried what people thought of me, what I was doing, how I mothered my children. You name it, I worried what people thought. But really, why should I care? I am doing this to better me, be around longer with my husband and kids. I am going to be able to enjoy things better with my two crazy, active boys. I can play with them outside, run with them... They are keeping up with me now!
Not only was my appearance changing but my mind and attitude were changing as well. Don't get me wrong, my changing body was great BUT I think my outlook on life and what I wanted for myself and family was my real prize. I was able to throw that crappy medication away and live on my own terms. It just wasn't for me. That being said, I do believe there are definitely reasons people need medication but I was feeling better than I EVER had without it. It's amazing what a good diet and exercise plan will do. So, I did what I felt was best for me and my body. Now, there are definitely times where I doubt myself, feel crappy or whatever but it's not the same as before.
This has really been more than just a 'workout' journey for me. I found myself. I look at my husband and children different. I treat others different and by that I mean, I'm not so quick to judge. Everyone takes different paths or has different struggles. I got so good at hiding how I was feeling and that just spilled over into my judgement of others. Sad but true. NOW... I truly want to help others. I walk in my own shoes now with confidence(for the most part)and no one will ever walk in my shoes. So, what does that mean? I want to help others gain that confidence and walk in their own set!
Moral of 'my' story.... It's not an obsession, it's a way of life for me. I am bettering myself for me and my family. I am not going to let anyone make me feel bad about it. Do what makes you HAPPY!!
-Ashlee
...... So, how did this all come about? Simple... I was miserable! I had never been so uncomfortable in my own skin. I never wanted to go anywhere, do anything that required 'real clothes' or worst of all(ha!)I hated to go shopping -- which I LOVE to do! How did this happen? I couldn't blame it on having a baby, I weighed more now than I did a couple months after giving birth to Easton. I had settled into a terrible routine. Now, Jake is noticing a change in my behavior and mood -- who also has been a TREMENDOUS support system for me through all of this. After what seemed liked months and going back and forth with seeing a doctor about what was going on with me... I caved in.
This was extremely hard for me. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just being a baby. I'll spare some of the details... After a couple of visits to the doctor, I was put on anti-anxiety medication(which I no longer take!!)and started on them right away. At first, I thought I was doing 'better' and feeling more myself. Another thing that I thought was great -- no appetite. Hey, if I don't eat food then I will lose weight -- right?? Um, wrong! I started occasionally working out and doing a few things at home. I lost a 5 or so pounds. This was awesome but not enough.
Here's where my running began.... I started to have a little more energy, I decided to go for a 'run' on the track. It sucked, it was terrible and I barely made it a couple of laps without my body feeling like it was going to explode. Holy crap, I am out of shape!! I kept at it though, running on the track and occasionally the trail ... Some days I would have a really good run, being able to go a little bit farther and then a few days later I could barely run 50 feet.
Why? This is when things started to click for me. I still wasn't eating well(maybe a little better)and drinking a ton of pop! ... BUT I started to like running. I had dropped a little bit more weight and I wanted more! I started reading, talking to other people and really researching things. I educated myself on running, exercising, eating properly. So, you mean if I eat better, my body will perform better???? What a crazy thought!!!
Ok, I can do this. I will do this! This will be life changing! Here we go....
-Ashlee
Well, here we go! My very first blog entry...
I have never been into writing, blogging... That whole bit! Something just hit me one day... BAM! I want to try this! So, I asked around to see what other bloggers use, how they got started and went from there. I am not the best 'writer' so bear with me on this(maybe this will help me a little, huh?)as I get going...
Running, fitness, eating healthy has become such a HUGE part of my life that I really wanted to 'document' my journey, my struggles, my fears, my accomplishments and MOST OF ALL ... Inspire, motivate or challenge someone, anyone! Even if it was just one person that I could inspire to take a journey like I have, I'd consider that a huge victory! So... This is my attempt at that!
-Ashlee
